How people say hello and goodbye tells you a great deal about a culture.
Presented by ClearTrust Free for the curious, the homesick and the hosts.
How people say hello and goodbye tells you a great deal about a culture. A bow in Japan, a namaste with joined hands in India, a nose press in New Zealand, three kisses in the Netherlands, a long enquiry after the family in West Africa: each is a small ritual of respect. They teach us who speaks first, how close to stand, whether to touch and whether to look in the eye. Farewells have their own forms, from the gentle refusal to let a guest leave to the blessing given to a traveller. Knowing a few of these customs helps a visitor feel welcome and avoid giving offence.
A greeting acknowledges another person, offers a sign of peace and sets the tone of the meeting. It is also a way of showing rank, age and relationship, since many languages and customs differ in how they greet an elder, a stranger and a friend. A good greeting is quick but not careless, and a parting is a chance to leave a warm feeling. Many cultures treat greetings as a duty, so that to pass someone without a word would be rude. They are among the first things a child is taught.
The main forms are the bow, the handshake, the kiss, the embrace, the hand on the heart, the joined palms and the touching of noses or foreheads. Speech often asks about health, family or the journey, and the questions are customary rather than literal. Who greets first, how long the greeting lasts and whether to use titles are all governed by rules. Gifts, such as a bunch of flowers, tea or a small present, may accompany the greeting, and goodbyes often involve walking a guest to the door or the road.
Many greetings come with food and drink: coffee in Arabia, tea in Central Asia, bread and salt in Slavic countries, kola nuts in West Africa, a kava cup in Fiji. Dress may be part of the greeting, as in the lei placed on a visitor in Hawaii or the scarf, khata, offered in Tibet and Mongolia. Music welcomes guests in some places, with a song of welcome sung at a Maori powhiri, a drum greeting in Africa, or a blast of pipes in Scotland.
Greetings have shifted with travel, business and technology. Handshakes became less common during the pandemic, and many people adopted a nod, a wave or a hand on the heart. In business the handshake and the exchange of cards have become global, but local forms remain among friends. Online, new rituals of emoji and short messages mark a hello and goodbye. Many schools and companies now teach basic greeting customs to help people from different cultures to work together comfortably.
Namaste, with palms pressed together and a slight bow, is the common Hindu greeting, and young people touch the feet of elders to receive a blessing. Handshakes are used in business, though many people wait for the other to offer.
Read: NamasteThe wai, a bow with palms together, is given higher according to the status of the person greeted. A younger person wais first, and monks are given the highest wai.
Wai, being writtenThe bow, ojigi, ranges from a nod to a deep bow, and the depth shows respect. Business cards are exchanged with both hands and a small bow.
Read: Bowing in JapanA bow is used with a handshake, supported by the left hand on the right forearm as a sign of respect. Elders are greeted first, and age decides the form of address.
Korean honorifics, being writtenMen greet with a handshake, a hand to the heart and a long enquiry about health and family. Women often use a hand on the chest, and a guest is offered tea.
Read: As-salamu alaykumSalaam alaikum, peace be upon you, is answered with wa alaikum salaam. Friends may kiss on the cheek or touch noses in the Gulf, and the hand over the heart follows a handshake.
Read: As-salamu alaykum
NamasteThe Indian greeting with joined palms.
Bowing in JapanOjigi and its degrees.
Cheek kissingLa bise across Europe.
Bread and saltThe Slavic welcome.As-salamu alaykumThe Muslim greeting of peace.Also part of it, and being written: Wai (Thailand's greeting.), Hongi (The Maori nose press.), Shalom (Hello, goodbye and peace.).
In many places a hand to the chest or a nod is a polite alternative, and it is often used for religious reasons. A quick explanation and a smile usually put people at ease.
It shows that you value the person and their household. The answers are expected to be brief and positive, and the exchange is a ritual rather than a request for news.
It signals sincerity and respect, and is used in many countries of the Middle East, North Africa, Central Asia and Latin America, often after a handshake or in place of one.
With a bow, a hand on the heart or a touch of the feet, depending on the culture, and with a title rather than a first name. Letting them speak first is always a safe choice.
Many cultures give the farewell as much weight as the greeting, with blessings, gifts and walking the guest out. A guest who leaves abruptly may seem to be ungrateful.
Written by the EveryParampara desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇩🇪 Cologne, GermanyCologne CarnivalKölner Karneval
A street festival in Cologne with parades, masquerades and a ruling trioFestival
🇺🇸 United States and 5 moreStatue rubbing
A global custom of touching public statues to seek luck, love, or a return to the city.Festival
🇬🇧 United KingdomStirrup cup
A farewell drink served to guests as they depart, often while mounting a horse.Etiquette
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
Every week: one tradition from somewhere new, what is being celebrated around the world this week, and one idea explained.