Baby shower

What it is

A baby shower is a gathering held for a parent who is expecting a baby or who has just given birth. It is usually a party, not a religious service, and its centre is the giving of gifts. Traditionally it was arranged for a family's first child and only women came. That has loosened: today showers may include men, may be held at a workplace, and may be smaller affairs where guests bring only diapers and other basics for a second or third baby. Games are common, from bingo to puzzles about the baby's features.

Origins and history

The shower as it is known today is recent. It became popular in the middle of the twentieth century, and in the United States it took hold in the late 1940s and 1950s, when many women were having the children of the post-war years. Customs around pregnancy and birth go back much further, in Egypt, Greece, India, Ethiopia and Europe. In South India the Simantha falls in the seventh or eighth month, when the mother-to-be is given dry fruits, sweets and other gifts, and music is played for the baby's ears, which people believed had already begun to work. In medieval Europe a priest might visit a woman in labour so she could confess, and a baptism followed soon after, with godparents giving gifts.

Gifts and manners

Because the party is built around presents, etiquette writers have had a lot to say about who may host. The etiquette writer known as Miss Manners holds that a close friend should arrange the shower, since it looks bad for a family to ask for gifts on its own behalf. The mother-to-be, her mother and her mother-in-law, and her sisters are usually thought too close to act as host, though a cousin may do. Customs differ from country to country, and in some places a close female relative is the expected host. Guests often bring diapers, blankets, bottles, clothes and toys.

Around the world

Names and dates change with the country. In Egypt a Sebouh comes a week after the birth, with music and a buffet. South Africans hold a stork party in the sixth month, often as a surprise for the mother. Armenians gather forty days after the birth. Chinese and Vietnamese families wait a month, and treat a party before the birth as unlucky. In Iran the sismooni party falls one to three months before. Some Muslim families keep Aqiqah, when an animal is killed and the meat shared with relatives and the poor. In Nepal the mother-to-be is given gifts by her elders and a meal is cooked to her taste.

What it means

Those who keep a baby shower describe it as more than a party. It is the first time a family's wider circle comes together around the child, and a chance for friends and relatives to show that they mean to be part of the child's life, helping to raise and teach it over the years. For a woman in the United States it is the one public event that marks her move into motherhood. The Ethiopian blessing says the same thing: that the mother's cries of pain should be so quiet that a bird sitting on a fence would not hear them.

How Baby shower is kept

One person, often a close friend, hosts. Guests arrive, greet the parent-to-be and settle in. Food is served, and in some places there is music and a buffet. Then come the games, perhaps bingo or a guessing game about the baby's weight or the mother's measurements. The gifts are opened, sometimes as a game in themselves. Guests may bring necessities such as diapers, or items from a list the parents have prepared. Some families ask for no presents at all and hold a blessing instead. In several countries the party comes after the birth, and the invitation doubles as the baby's announcement.

When and where

Timing differs by country and by family. Showers held before the birth usually fall in the later months of pregnancy, though rarely in the final weeks in case the baby comes early. Elsewhere the party waits: one week after the birth in Egypt, forty days in Armenia, a month in China, Vietnam and Hmong communities.

Baby showers of the North American kind are common in the United States, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, and less so in Western Europe. Other birth celebrations of this sort are kept in Egypt, Ethiopia, South Africa, Armenia, Iran, China, Nepal, Vietnam, Mongolia and parts of India, under names that change from community to community.

What Baby shower means

A baby shower marks a change of status. It is the moment a family's friends and neighbours are drawn in, before or just after a child arrives, and the moment they say they will help. Gifts carry that promise. In older rites the meaning was often protective or religious: a baptism, a blessing, a prayer for an easy birth. The Ethiopian blessing asks for a delivery so gentle that the mother's cries would not reach a bird perched on a fence.

Questions people ask about Baby shower

See also

Postpartum confinementA period of rest, nourishment, and seclusion for mothers after giving birth.Rite of passageA ceremony that marks leaving one group and entering another, with a new statusNamakaranaA Hindu rite that gives a baby its name, kept in the days after a birthWhite SundayA Samoan holiday honoring children with church services, white clothing, and family gatherings on the second Sunday of O

Good reading and sources

• Baby shower on WikipediaEncyclopedia
• More photos on Wikimedia CommonsPhotos and video
• Wikidata recordOpen data

It may contain mistakes. Traditions differ from one family, village and community to the next, and the people who keep them know them best. If something is wrong, tell us. Last refreshed 2026-10-05.