Marriage vows

What it is

At its simplest, a marriage vow is a promise spoken out loud by one partner to the other as they marry. The words may be fixed by a church or chosen by the couple. Vows are not a universal part of marriage. Many legal systems do not ask for them, and Eastern Christian weddings traditionally have no vows at all. Even within Western Christianity the wording differs: Catholic couples in the Latin Church usually make one shared pledge, Lutheran and Anglican books set out their own forms, and the Church of England has offered couples a choice of words.

Origins and history

The earliest traditional vows come from handbooks used by the medieval church. In England two of these mattered greatly, the manuals of Salisbury, also called Sarum, and of York. When the first Book of Common Prayer appeared in 1549, its marriage service leaned mainly on the Sarum text. Couples marrying in the Church of England were usually offered a choice: they could promise to love and cherish each other, or the man could promise to love, cherish and worship while the woman promised to love, cherish and obey. The edition of 1662 kept the word obey, and the 1928 revision printed an alternative that left it out.

Anglican and civil forms

Since 2000 the Church of England's Common Worship service has used a standard form. The couple say they will keep and hold each other from that day on, through better and worse, richer and poorer, sickness and health, loving and cherishing one another until death, and that this is their solemn vow. A bride may still replace loving and cherishing with loving, cherishing and obeying. In 1922 the Episcopal Church in the United States voted to drop the word obey from the bride's words. Civil marriage in England and Wales follows the Marriage Act 1949, which sets words about lawful impediment and about taking the other as a lawfully wedded husband or wife. Couples may add promises of their own.

Quaker declarations

Quakers, also called the Society of Friends, do not make vows. The couple instead give a declaration in front of the meeting. London Yearly Meeting put the wording in writing in 1675, stated it again in 1754, and the same words lasted into the twentieth century. Britain Yearly Meeting now allows a form in which each person takes the other as spouse and promises, through divine assistance or with God's help, to be loving and faithful for as long as the two of them live on earth. A preface such as In the presence of God may be added, spouse may become wife, husband or partner in marriage, and the declaration may be made in Welsh.

Seven steps around fire

In a Hindu wedding the central rite is the Saptapadi, which means seven steps. The couple walk seven circuits around a sacred fire, and each circuit stands for a promise for their life together. The promises are often grouped into seven themes: food and care, strength, prosperity, harmony, family and children, health and long life, and lasting friendship. The ritual is treated as the moment the marriage is complete. In some weddings the words that go with the steps are spoken aloud.

How Marriage vows is kept

In a Western Christian wedding the couple stand before a priest or minister and witnesses. Each says the promise in turn, naming the other. Catholic couples in the Latin Church make the same pledge to one another, and afterwards the priest tells them their consent has been declared before the Church. In the Church of England the groom may place a ring on the bride's finger with a set sentence. Quakers instead give a declaration in a meeting, with no priest. Hindu couples walk seven times around a fire.

When and where

Vows are spoken during the wedding ceremony itself, at the point where the couple give their consent. The Church of England and the civil law of England and Wales require set words to be said. Times, wording and languages differ from church to church, and each Anglican church in the Communion has its own authorised prayer book.

The promises described here belong mostly to the United Kingdom and the United States, and to English-speaking weddings more widely. The Church of England and the civil rules for England and Wales are the clearest examples. Quaker declarations are used by Britain Yearly Meeting. The seven-step rite belongs to Hindu weddings, and Anglican provinces elsewhere use their own authorised texts.

What Marriage vows means

For the people who speak them, the vows are the moment consent is given and the marriage is made. The Catholic priest's words make this plain: the couple have declared their consent before the Church. The promises also carry duties, faithfulness in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for richer and for poorer. Quaker declarations set the promise inside religious language, in the fear of the Lord or in God's presence, and the Hindu seven steps bind the couple to a shared life.

Questions people ask about Marriage vows

See also

Islamic marriageThe sacred contract, agreement and wedding celebration forming an Islamic marriageMatchmakingThe custom of using a trusted intermediary to introduce partners for marriageRite of passageA ceremony that marks leaving one group and entering another, with a new statusMarriage proposalA ritual where one partner asks another to marry them, marking the start of engagement.

Good reading and sources

• Marriage vows on WikipediaEncyclopedia
• Wikidata recordOpen data

It may contain mistakes. Traditions differ from one family, village and community to the next, and the people who keep them know them best. If something is wrong, tell us. Last refreshed 2026-10-10.