Hospitality and welcome

What it is for

Hospitality began as survival, since travellers in deserts, mountains and long roads depended on a stranger's door. It grew into a moral code, taught by religions and honoured in sayings and stories, such as Abraham's welcome to the angels or the Greek rule of xenia. Today it also shows the household's character, and a good host is admired. It builds trust between families, between neighbours and between peoples who have never met. A guest, in turn, is expected to be gracious and to give thanks, and sometimes to bring a gift.

Common elements across cultures

The welcome has steps: a greeting at the door, the removal of shoes in many places, a seat of honour, drink and food offered at once, and conversation before any business. The host often refuses payment and presses more food on the guest, while the guest may decline once or twice before accepting. Gifts, such as sweets, flowers or fruit, are exchanged. Many cultures protect the guest for the duration of a visit, and some require that the host walks the guest out and stays until he is out of sight.

Food, dress and music

The first offering is usually something to drink: coffee with cardamom, tea, water, yoghurt drink or a small glass of spirits. Sweets and fruit follow, then a meal, and the host will often prepare more than the guests can eat. Dress for a guest ranges from the formal to a garland of flowers. Music may be a song of welcome, a pipe, a group dance or a hum of conversation. Gifts of food, particularly sweets, dates and wine, are exchanged on arrival, and a doggy bag of leftovers is often sent home with the guest.

How it is changing

Smaller homes, busy lives and restaurants mean fewer open-house evenings in many cities, but the habits persist in other forms: the dinner invitation, the potluck and the neighbourhood tea. Travel has created new hospitality, as home-stay networks, couch-surfing and communal meals bring strangers into homes. Tourism boards in many countries promote welcome traditions, from the Georgian supra to Saudi coffee. Many people also find the old rules a comfort, an anchor in a quicker world, and teach them to their children as part of the family heritage.

Hospitality and welcome around the world

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Traditions to start with

Arabic coffeeThe cardamom coffee of welcome.Habesha coffee ceremonyA long ritual of friendship.PōwhiriThe Maori welcome.Bread and saltThe Slavic welcome.TaarofIranian politeness.

Also part of it, and being written: Supra (The Georgian feast.), Omotenashi (Japanese hospitality.), Kava culture (The Fijian kava gift.).

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