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EveryParampara

Remembering the ancestors

Almost every society keeps a way of staying in touch with those who came before.

Almost every society keeps a way of staying in touch with those who came before. Some set a place at the table, some sweep a grave, some light a lamp, and some tell the names aloud at every gathering. The reasons differ: gratitude, duty, a belief that the dead still watch over the family, or simply the wish that no one is forgotten. These customs are usually tied to a season, a day of the year or a family anniversary, and they tend to bring the living together as much as they honour the dead. Here is how it is done in many places, and how the old ways are changing.

What it is for

Remembering ancestors places a family inside a long story. In many cultures the dead are thought to remain part of the household, able to bless or to be hurt by neglect, so the rites are a form of care. In others the aim is gentler: to say thank you, to pass on names and lessons, and to teach children where they come from. Either way the custom answers a plain human need, which is to keep a link with people we loved or whose work made our lives possible. It also gives grief a calendar, a fixed day when sadness is allowed and shared.

What is done across cultures

Offerings of food, drink and flowers are the commonest element, left at a grave, an altar or a household shrine. Lamps, candles and incense are lit. Graves are cleaned and repainted. Names are recited, photographs are set out, and stories are told. Many traditions also fix a season for it, such as autumn in Mexico and Japan, early spring in China and Korea, or the days around the new moon in India. Paper money, gifts and clothes are burned in parts of East Asia so that they reach the next world. Some peoples invite the spirits home for a few days and then send them off with a farewell meal.

Food, dress and music

Food is the language of remembrance. The dead are offered what they liked in life, or the dishes of the season: sweet bread, rice cakes, steamed buns, dates, fruit and drink. After the offering the family eats the same food together. Dress is often plain or white, though in some places it is bright and festive, because the day is a reunion rather than a sorrow. Music ranges from a single bell to full brass bands, drumming and dancing in the cemetery. Songs may be lullabies the dead once sang, or old chants that only a few elders still know.

How it is changing

Families now live far from their ancestral graves, so remembering has moved online and into the home. People light virtual candles, hold video calls with relatives and send offerings through apps. Cities limit burning and fireworks for air quality, and many families have switched to flowers and lamps. At the same time there is a renewed pride in old rites, and younger people are asking elders to explain them. Public versions, such as parades and altar competitions, have become festivals in their own right, shared with visitors, while the quiet family rite at the grave remains at the centre.

Remembering the ancestors around the world

🇲🇽 Mexico

Families build an ofrenda, an altar of marigolds, candles, photographs, sugar skulls and the dead person's favourite food, for the Day of the Dead on 1 and 2 November. Many spend the night in the cemetery, and the mood is warm and often joyful.

Read: Day of the Dead

🇨🇳 China

At Qingming in early April families sweep the graves, set out food and burn paper offerings. Ancestor tablets in the home are also given incense through the year.

Read: Qingming Festival

🇯🇵 Japan

Obon, in mid-August, welcomes the spirits home with lanterns lit at the door and bon odori dances. Families clean the grave, offer food at the household altar and send the spirits off with floating lanterns.

Read: Obon

🇰🇷 Korea

Charye is a table of rice, soup, fruit and rice cakes laid for the ancestors at Chuseok and Seollal, and jesa is held on the anniversary of a death. Families also visit and tidy the graves in a custom called seongmyo.

Read: Jesa

🇻🇳 Vietnam

Every household keeps an ancestor altar, and the death anniversary, or gio, is marked with a family meal and offerings. Tet begins with a visit to graves and an invitation to the ancestors to join the celebration.

Vietnamese folk religion, being written

🇰🇭 Cambodia

Pchum Ben lasts fifteen days in autumn, when families take rice and offerings to the pagoda for monks to pass on to the spirits of seven generations. The days are serious and communal.

Read: Pchum Ben

Compare all 19 places

Traditions to start with

Questions people ask

Is ancestor remembering a religious practice?

Often, but not always. It is part of many faiths and traditional belief systems, and in some places it is simply a family custom with no creed attached. People take part for love, duty, habit or all three.

Why are offerings of food common?

Food is how families show care, so it is how they show it to the dead. The living usually share the meal afterwards, which turns the offering into a reunion.

Do all cultures remember the dead on one fixed day?

Many do, in autumn or early spring, but others use the death anniversary of each person, or a rite at any time of year. Some use all three.

What is the difference between mourning and ancestor remembrance?

Mourning is the period just after a death. Ancestor remembrance carries on for years or generations, often with a lighter and more affectionate tone.

How can someone start a family custom of remembrance?

Many families begin small: a photograph and a candle, a favourite dish cooked once a year, or a story told on a chosen day. A simple, regular habit usually lasts better than a grand one.

About this page

Written by the EveryParampara desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.

Remembering the ancestors on EveryParampara

The traditions written up so far, best known first.

🇦🇿 AzerbaijanNovruzNovruz Bayramı The Azerbaijani spring equinox festival of bonfires, sweets and sprouted wheatSeasonal · Feasts and festival meals 🇳🇷 NauruAngam Day A national holiday in Nauru celebrating the survival and recovery of its peopleCeremony 🇨🇳 Beijing, ChinaLaba Festival臘八節 A winter porridge festival marking the start of the Chinese New Year seasonFestival · Feasts and festival meals 🇰🇭 Siem Reap, CambodiaCambodian New Yearបុណ្យចូលឆ្នាំថ្មី ប្រពៃណីជាតិ A three-day harvest festival marking the traditional solar new year across CambodiaSeasonal 🇳🇵 Kathmandu, NepalGai JatraSā Pāru (𑐳𑐵𑐥𑐵𑐬𑐸) A Newar festival in the Kathmandu Valley to honor relatives who died that year through processions and satire.Festival 🇬🇭 Accra, GhanaHomowo A harvest festival of the Ga people in Ghana to remember surviving famineFestival · Feasts and festival meals 🇬🇭 Ghana and 3 moreDamba festivalDamba chuɣu A Ghanaian celebration of royal authority, ancestral memory, music and danceFestival 🇳🇵 Kathmandu, NepalIndra JatraYenyā Punhi An eight-day street festival in Nepal featuring masked dances, chariot processions, and sacred pole ceremonies.Festival 🇮🇳 India and 1 moreNaraka Chaturdashi The dawn festival of oil baths, ancestor lamps, and harvest foods during DiwaliFestival · Breakfast 🇮🇳 IndiaBathukammaబతుకమ్మ A nine-day floral festival celebrated by women across Telangana and Andhra PradeshFestival 🇸🇪 SwedenJul A midwinter holiday of feast tables, doorstep gift givers, and candlelit morningsSeasonal · Feasts and festival meals 🇮🇳 Guwahati, IndiaBohag Bihu A multi-day Assamese New Year festival of cattle rites, music, gifts and feastsSeasonal · Feasts and festival meals 🇮🇳 Cuttack, IndiaBali Jatraବାଲିଯାତ୍ରା An Odia festival and vast open fair commemorating ancient voyages across the seaFestival 🇮🇩 IndonesiaGalungan A Balinese Hindu festival welcoming ancestral spirits and honouring good over evilSpiritual 🇨🇦 Canada and 5 moreTartan DayLà an Tartain An annual celebration of Scottish culture, clan tartans, and diaspora heritageFestival 🇬🇭 Cape Coast, GhanaFetu Afahye A harvest festival of cleansing, boat races and royal durbars in Cape Coast, GhanaFestival · Feasts and festival meals 🇳🇬 Lagos, NigeriaEyo FestivalAdamu Orisha Play A Yoruba masquerade procession honouring departed leaders and royalty in LagosFestival 🇮🇳 Chidambaram, India and 1 moreThiruvathira A Hindu festival celebrating Shiva's cosmic dance, observed in Tamil Nadu and Kerala with fasting, processions, and dancFestival 🇵🇭 Kalibo, PhilippinesAti-Atihan A week of drumbeats, street dancing, and devotion to the Infant Jesus in AklanFestival 🇬🇭 Akropong, GhanaOdwira Festival An annual harvest and purification festival celebrated by the Akuapem in GhanaFestival · Feasts and festival meals 🇳🇬 NigeriaIgbo New Yam FestivalIri ji A harvest thanksgiving and feast marking the first yam crop among the Igbo of NigeriaSeasonal · Feasts and festival meals 🇮🇳 IndiaMagh Bihu A harvest festival of bonfires, feasts and winter games in AssamSeasonal · Feasts and festival meals 🇳🇬 Oyo, Nigeria and 3 moreSango Festival An annual Yoruba gathering in Nigeria honoring the deity of thunder and lightningFestival · Feasts and festival meals 🇲🇾 Malaysia and 1 moreGawai DayakAri Gawai An annual harvest and thanksgiving festival of the Dayak peoples in BorneoSeasonal 🇬🇭 GhanaOutdooringkpojiemɔ (Ga), abadinto (Akan), vihehedego (Ewe) A Ghanaian ceremony eight days after birth, when a baby is brought outdoors and namedRite of passage · Feasts and festival meals 🇮🇹 Rome, Italy and 5 moreAll Souls' Day A Christian observance on 2 November for prayer and remembrance of those who have died.Spiritual 🇯🇵 Tokyo, Japan and 3 moreObonお盆 (Obon) A Japanese Buddhist festival honoring the spirits of ancestors through dance, light, and family reunion.Festival 🇯🇵 Kyoto, JapanGozan no Okuribi五山送り火 Five giant bonfires lit across Kyoto's hills to bid farewell to ancestor spirits.Spiritual 🇯🇵 Tokyo, JapanSanja Matsuri三社祭 A loud three-day Shinto festival in Tokyo honoring the founders of Sensō-ji temple.Festival 🇮🇪 Ireland and 2 moreWren DayLá an Dreoilín A Saint Stephen's Day custom where groups parade a stuffed wren on a decorated pole through their community.Festival 🇷🇺 Moscow, Russia and 5 moreImmortal RegimentБессмертный полк (Bessmertnyy polk) A civic procession where people carry portraits of relatives who served in the Second World War.Festival 🇱🇦 Laos and 3 moreRocket Festivalບຸນບັ້ງໄຟ A rainy-season festival of merit-making, music, parades and homemade rocketsFestival 🇸🇳 Touba, Senegal and 1 moreGrand Magal of Touba An annual pilgrimage to the holy city of Touba in Senegal, kept by followers of the Mouride Sufi order.Spiritual 🇰🇷 South Korea and 1 moreChuseok추석 A Korean harvest festival of ancestral rites, seasonal rice cakes, and folk gamesFestival · Feasts and festival meals 🇬🇭 GhanaPanafest A biennial Ghanaian festival uniting Africans and the diaspora through arts and healingFestival 🇬🇭 GhanaAdae Festival A sacred day of rest and ancestral rites observed across the Ashanti Region in GhanaSpiritual 🇻🇳 VietnamTếtTết Nguyên Đán The Vietnamese festival of the lunar new year, welcoming spring with family gatheringsFestival · Feasts and festival meals 🇨🇮 Ivory Coast and 1 moreAbissa A week-long New Year festival of the Nzema people in Ivory Coast and Ghana, marked by sacred drums, dance, and forgiveneFestival 🇹🇹 Trinidad and Tobago and 3 moreHosay An Indo-Caribbean Muharram commemoration with ornate floats, drumming and processionsSpiritual · Fasting and breaking the fast 🇪🇬 Thebes, EgyptBeautiful Festival of the Valleyhb nfr n jnt An ancient Egyptian festival honouring the dead with river processions across ThebesSpiritual 🇻🇳 Hội An, VietnamTết Trung Thu節中秋 A mid-autumn festival of lanterns, mooncakes and folklore celebrated across VietnamFestival · Sweets given and shared 🇻🇳 Huế, VietnamTraditional Vietnamese wedding A Vietnamese wedding: two families joined through proposal, engagement and ceremonyRite of passage 🇮🇳 Puri, IndiaNabakalebaraନବ କଳେବର (Navakalevara) A rare ritual in Puri where the wooden idols of four Hindu deities are replaced with new carvings every twelve to nineteSpiritual 🇬🇭 Bonwire, Ghana and 1 moreKente clothNwentoma Hand-woven Ghanaian cloth of silk and cotton strips, worn for ceremonies and graduationsDress 🇬🇧 Lewes, United KingdomLewes Bonfire A Sussex town marks 5 November with torchlit processions, burning crosses and bonfiresFestival 🇰🇪 Kenya and 1 moreAdumuEnkipaata A Maasai warrior dance of high jumps from a circle, done at weddings and ritesPerformance 🇧🇴 La Paz, Bolivia and 1 moreEkekoIqiqu A small figurine of abundance kept in Andean homes and carried at the Alasitas fair to invite prosperity.Spiritual 🇪🇬 Cairo, Egypt and 1 moreNayrouzالنيروز (Arabic); ⲡⲓⲭⲗⲟⲙ ⲛ̀ⲧⲉ ϯⲣⲟⲙⲡⲓ (Coptic) A Coptic feast marking the new year and honoring martyrs, kept in Egypt and Ethiopia.Festival

Photo credits on this page

The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.

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