Almost every society keeps a way of staying in touch with those who came before.
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Almost every society keeps a way of staying in touch with those who came before. Some set a place at the table, some sweep a grave, some light a lamp, and some tell the names aloud at every gathering. The reasons differ: gratitude, duty, a belief that the dead still watch over the family, or simply the wish that no one is forgotten. These customs are usually tied to a season, a day of the year or a family anniversary, and they tend to bring the living together as much as they honour the dead. Here is how it is done in many places, and how the old ways are changing.
Remembering ancestors places a family inside a long story. In many cultures the dead are thought to remain part of the household, able to bless or to be hurt by neglect, so the rites are a form of care. In others the aim is gentler: to say thank you, to pass on names and lessons, and to teach children where they come from. Either way the custom answers a plain human need, which is to keep a link with people we loved or whose work made our lives possible. It also gives grief a calendar, a fixed day when sadness is allowed and shared.
Offerings of food, drink and flowers are the commonest element, left at a grave, an altar or a household shrine. Lamps, candles and incense are lit. Graves are cleaned and repainted. Names are recited, photographs are set out, and stories are told. Many traditions also fix a season for it, such as autumn in Mexico and Japan, early spring in China and Korea, or the days around the new moon in India. Paper money, gifts and clothes are burned in parts of East Asia so that they reach the next world. Some peoples invite the spirits home for a few days and then send them off with a farewell meal.
Food is the language of remembrance. The dead are offered what they liked in life, or the dishes of the season: sweet bread, rice cakes, steamed buns, dates, fruit and drink. After the offering the family eats the same food together. Dress is often plain or white, though in some places it is bright and festive, because the day is a reunion rather than a sorrow. Music ranges from a single bell to full brass bands, drumming and dancing in the cemetery. Songs may be lullabies the dead once sang, or old chants that only a few elders still know.
Families now live far from their ancestral graves, so remembering has moved online and into the home. People light virtual candles, hold video calls with relatives and send offerings through apps. Cities limit burning and fireworks for air quality, and many families have switched to flowers and lamps. At the same time there is a renewed pride in old rites, and younger people are asking elders to explain them. Public versions, such as parades and altar competitions, have become festivals in their own right, shared with visitors, while the quiet family rite at the grave remains at the centre.
Families build an ofrenda, an altar of marigolds, candles, photographs, sugar skulls and the dead person's favourite food, for the Day of the Dead on 1 and 2 November. Many spend the night in the cemetery, and the mood is warm and often joyful.
Read: Day of the DeadAt Qingming in early April families sweep the graves, set out food and burn paper offerings. Ancestor tablets in the home are also given incense through the year.
Read: Qingming FestivalObon, in mid-August, welcomes the spirits home with lanterns lit at the door and bon odori dances. Families clean the grave, offer food at the household altar and send the spirits off with floating lanterns.
Read: ObonCharye is a table of rice, soup, fruit and rice cakes laid for the ancestors at Chuseok and Seollal, and jesa is held on the anniversary of a death. Families also visit and tidy the graves in a custom called seongmyo.
Read: JesaEvery household keeps an ancestor altar, and the death anniversary, or gio, is marked with a family meal and offerings. Tet begins with a visit to graves and an invitation to the ancestors to join the celebration.
Vietnamese folk religion, being writtenPchum Ben lasts fifteen days in autumn, when families take rice and offerings to the pagoda for monks to pass on to the spirits of seven generations. The days are serious and communal.
Read: Pchum Ben
Day of the DeadMexico, 1 and 2 November.
Qingming FestivalTomb-sweeping in China.
ObonJapan's festival of the returning spirits.
ChuseokKorean harvest festival with ancestral rites.
Pitri PakshaThe Hindu fortnight of the ancestors.
Pchum BenCambodia's fifteen days of offerings.
FamadihanaMadagascar's turning of the bones.
SamhainThe old Celtic season of the dead.Often, but not always. It is part of many faiths and traditional belief systems, and in some places it is simply a family custom with no creed attached. People take part for love, duty, habit or all three.
Food is how families show care, so it is how they show it to the dead. The living usually share the meal afterwards, which turns the offering into a reunion.
Many do, in autumn or early spring, but others use the death anniversary of each person, or a rite at any time of year. Some use all three.
Mourning is the period just after a death. Ancestor remembrance carries on for years or generations, often with a lighter and more affectionate tone.
Many families begin small: a photograph and a candle, a favourite dish cooked once a year, or a story told on a chosen day. A simple, regular habit usually lasts better than a grand one.
Written by the EveryParampara desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇼🇸 Samoa and 1 moreʻIe tōga
Precious woven mats exchanged in Samoan ceremonies to honor family ties and chiefly status.Dress
🇹🇱 Timor-LesteUma Lulik
Sacred ancestral clan houses and ritual shrines in East TimorSpiritual
🇼🇸 Samoa and 1 morePeʻa
The traditional Samoan rite of full-body tattooing for men, tapped by master artistsRite of passage
🇳🇿 New Zealand and 2 moreMarae
A cleared, sacred gathering place at the heart of Māori and Polynesian community lifeSpiritual
🇬🇭 Ghana and 2 moreAgbadza
An Ewe music and dance, born of war songs and kept for funerals, weddings and festivalsPerformance
🇳🇬 Ibadan, Nigeria and 1 moreYoruba naming ceremonyÌkòlọ́pọ̀ Orúkọ Yorùbá
A rite of passage where a newborn receives a destiny name through divination and family celebration.Rite of passage · Feasts and festival meals
🇼🇸 Samoa and 3 moreWhite SundayLotu Tamaiti
A Samoan holiday honoring children with church services, white clothing, and family gatherings on the second Sunday of OFestival · Dinner
🇮🇳 India and 5 morePretaप्रेत
Offerings and rites for spirits enduring deep hunger across Asian traditions.Spiritual
🇪🇬 Egypt and 5 moreTraditional tattooing
The ancient custom of marking the skin for protection, healing, status and sacred ritesDress
🇰🇷 Jeju, South KoreaGut굿
Sacred rites of song, dance, and spirit communion performed by Korean shamansSpiritual
🇬🇭 Accra, GhanaFantasy coffinsAbebuu adekai
Custom hand-carved burial caskets shaped as animals, tools and symbols in southern GhanaRite of passage
🇮🇱 Israel and 5 moreKaddishקַדִּישׁ
A Jewish hymn of sanctification recited during prayer services and mourning rituals.Spiritual
🇳🇿 Auckland, New ZealandTā moko
The traditional permanent tattooing of the Māori people of New Zealand, marking identity and status.Rite of passage
🇮🇱 Israel and 5 moreKol Nidreכָּל נִדְרֵי
An Aramaic declaration of vow annulment that opens the Yom Kippur evening service in Jewish synagogues.Spiritual
🇮🇱 Tiberias, Israel and 2 moreYahrzeitיאָרצײַט (yortsayt)
A Jewish death anniversary marked by prayer and a burning candle to honour the departed.Rite of passage
🇿🇦 South Africa and 5 moreSouthern African traditional healing
Ancestral divination, herbal muthi, and spiritual care across Southern AfricaSpiritual
🇺🇦 Ukraine and 2 moreRushnykрушник
A sacred embroidered cloth used in East Slavic rituals, weddings and daily life.Dress
🇵🇭 Cebu, PhilippinesBatok
Indigenous Filipino tattooing, once worn as dress, rank and a rite of passageCraft
🇰🇷 Jeju, South KoreaHaenyeo해녀
Female free-divers of Jeju Island who harvest seafood from the ocean.Table custom
🇮🇳 Gaya, India and 1 moreShraddhaश्राद्ध
Rituals of faith for the ancestors, kept yearly and through Pitru PakshaSpiritual
🇮🇳 Haridwar, India and 3 moreAntyestiअन्त्येष्टि
The traditional Hindu funeral ceremony and final rite of passageRite of passage
🇲🇬 MadagascarFamadihana
A Malagasy reburial custom where families gather to rewrap and honour their ancestorsRite of passage
🇦🇺 AustraliaWalkabout
A rite of passage involving travel through the Australian landscape to learn ancestral lore.Rite of passage
🇰🇷 South KoreaKorean traditional funeral
A multi-day ritual blending Confucian rites and shamanic practices to guide the deceased to the afterlife.Rite of passage
🇨🇳 ChinaChinese funeral rituals
Traditional rites of mourning, vigils, offerings, and ancestor veneration across ChinaRite of passage
🇻🇳 Huế, VietnamTraditional Vietnamese wedding
A Vietnamese wedding: two families joined through proposal, engagement and ceremonyRite of passage
🇨🇳 China and 5 moreAncestor veneration
Honouring dead relatives with offerings, meals and prayers, kept in cultures worldwideSpiritual
🇨🇳 China and 5 moreJoss paper金紙 (jīnzhǐ)
Paper money burned for ancestors and gods, folded and offered in Chinese worshipSpiritual
🇯🇵 JapanJapanese funeral葬儀 (sōgi)
A Buddhist farewell in Japan: a wake, cremation, bone-gathering and a family graveRite of passage
🇪🇬 Thebes, EgyptAncient Egyptian funerary practices
Rites for the dead in ancient Egypt: preserving the body, spells and grave goodsRite of passage
🇬🇭 GhanaOutdooringkpojiemɔ (Ga), abadinto (Akan), vihehedego (Ewe)
A Ghanaian ceremony eight days after birth, when a baby is brought outdoors and namedRite of passage · Feasts and festival meals
🇺🇸 New Orleans, United StatesJazz funeral
A New Orleans funeral march led by brass music, moving from mourning to joyful danceRite of passage
🇹🇭 Bangkok, ThailandThai funeral
Buddhist rites in Thailand featuring water blessings, temple chanting and cremation.Rite of passage · Breakfast
🇨🇳 Beijing, ChinaHanfu漢服
The dress of the Han Chinese, named for the Han dynasty and worn again todayDress
🇲🇬 MadagascarLamba
A rectangular cloth wrapped around the body, worn across Madagascar and at burialsDress
🇮🇳 India and 2 morePujaपूजा (pūjā)
Hindu worship: light, flowers and food offered to a deity or a guestSpiritual
🇰🇪 Kenya and 5 moreBurial
Placing the dead in the ground or a structure to honor them and guide their journey.Rite of passage
🇮🇳 India and 1 moreYajnaयज्ञ
A Hindu ritual of offering items into a sacred fire to honor deities and ancestors.Spiritual
🇪🇬 Egypt and 5 moreLibation
The ceremonial gift of drink given to deities, ancestors, and the earthSpiritual · Tea, coffee and drinking ceremonies
🇪🇬 EgyptOpening of the mouth ceremony
An ancient Egyptian rite to awaken a spirit's senses for the afterlifeRite of passage · Feasts and festival meals
🇷🇺 Russia and 5 moreRadonitsaРа́доница (Russian), Ра́даўніца (Belarusian)
A spring day when Orthodox families visit graves, share Easter food and greet the deadSpiritual · Feasts and festival meals
🇮🇹 Italy and 4 moreRosalia
An ancient Roman festival of decorating graves, statues, and standards with fresh flowersSpiritual · Feasts and festival meals
🇮🇳 India and 5 moreFirst haircut
A rite of passage marking a child's first shave or trim across many cultures and faiths.Rite of passage
🇰🇿 Kazakhstan and 1 moreJeti ataЖеті ата
A Kazakh custom requiring knowledge of seven direct ancestors to ensure healthy marriages and tribal identity.Folklore
🇮🇳 Haridwar, IndiaAntam Sanskarਅੰਤਮ ਸੰਸਕਾਰ (Antam Sanskar)
The final rites of passage in Sikhism, involving prayer, cremation, and the dispersal of ashes.Rite of passage
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 1 moreCorpse road
Historical paths used to carry the dead to parish burial grounds across Britain and Ireland.Rite of passage
🇵🇸 Jerusalem, Palestine and 1 moreThursday of the Deadخميس الأموات
A spring day of cemetery visits, prayer, and shared yellow breads across the LevantSpiritual · Sweets given and shared
🇿🇦 South AfricaIsidwaba
A knee-length leather skirt of cowhide or goatskin, worn by married Zulu womenDress
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
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