Almost every society keeps a way of staying in touch with those who came before.
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Almost every society keeps a way of staying in touch with those who came before. Some set a place at the table, some sweep a grave, some light a lamp, and some tell the names aloud at every gathering. The reasons differ: gratitude, duty, a belief that the dead still watch over the family, or simply the wish that no one is forgotten. These customs are usually tied to a season, a day of the year or a family anniversary, and they tend to bring the living together as much as they honour the dead. Here is how it is done in many places, and how the old ways are changing.
Remembering ancestors places a family inside a long story. In many cultures the dead are thought to remain part of the household, able to bless or to be hurt by neglect, so the rites are a form of care. In others the aim is gentler: to say thank you, to pass on names and lessons, and to teach children where they come from. Either way the custom answers a plain human need, which is to keep a link with people we loved or whose work made our lives possible. It also gives grief a calendar, a fixed day when sadness is allowed and shared.
Offerings of food, drink and flowers are the commonest element, left at a grave, an altar or a household shrine. Lamps, candles and incense are lit. Graves are cleaned and repainted. Names are recited, photographs are set out, and stories are told. Many traditions also fix a season for it, such as autumn in Mexico and Japan, early spring in China and Korea, or the days around the new moon in India. Paper money, gifts and clothes are burned in parts of East Asia so that they reach the next world. Some peoples invite the spirits home for a few days and then send them off with a farewell meal.
Food is the language of remembrance. The dead are offered what they liked in life, or the dishes of the season: sweet bread, rice cakes, steamed buns, dates, fruit and drink. After the offering the family eats the same food together. Dress is often plain or white, though in some places it is bright and festive, because the day is a reunion rather than a sorrow. Music ranges from a single bell to full brass bands, drumming and dancing in the cemetery. Songs may be lullabies the dead once sang, or old chants that only a few elders still know.
Families now live far from their ancestral graves, so remembering has moved online and into the home. People light virtual candles, hold video calls with relatives and send offerings through apps. Cities limit burning and fireworks for air quality, and many families have switched to flowers and lamps. At the same time there is a renewed pride in old rites, and younger people are asking elders to explain them. Public versions, such as parades and altar competitions, have become festivals in their own right, shared with visitors, while the quiet family rite at the grave remains at the centre.
Families build an ofrenda, an altar of marigolds, candles, photographs, sugar skulls and the dead person's favourite food, for the Day of the Dead on 1 and 2 November. Many spend the night in the cemetery, and the mood is warm and often joyful.
Read: Day of the DeadAt Qingming in early April families sweep the graves, set out food and burn paper offerings. Ancestor tablets in the home are also given incense through the year.
Read: Qingming FestivalObon, in mid-August, welcomes the spirits home with lanterns lit at the door and bon odori dances. Families clean the grave, offer food at the household altar and send the spirits off with floating lanterns.
Read: ObonCharye is a table of rice, soup, fruit and rice cakes laid for the ancestors at Chuseok and Seollal, and jesa is held on the anniversary of a death. Families also visit and tidy the graves in a custom called seongmyo.
Read: JesaEvery household keeps an ancestor altar, and the death anniversary, or gio, is marked with a family meal and offerings. Tet begins with a visit to graves and an invitation to the ancestors to join the celebration.
Vietnamese folk religion, being writtenPchum Ben lasts fifteen days in autumn, when families take rice and offerings to the pagoda for monks to pass on to the spirits of seven generations. The days are serious and communal.
Read: Pchum Ben
Day of the DeadMexico, 1 and 2 November.
Qingming FestivalTomb-sweeping in China.
ObonJapan's festival of the returning spirits.
ChuseokKorean harvest festival with ancestral rites.
Pitri PakshaThe Hindu fortnight of the ancestors.
Pchum BenCambodia's fifteen days of offerings.
FamadihanaMadagascar's turning of the bones.
SamhainThe old Celtic season of the dead.Often, but not always. It is part of many faiths and traditional belief systems, and in some places it is simply a family custom with no creed attached. People take part for love, duty, habit or all three.
Food is how families show care, so it is how they show it to the dead. The living usually share the meal afterwards, which turns the offering into a reunion.
Many do, in autumn or early spring, but others use the death anniversary of each person, or a rite at any time of year. Some use all three.
Mourning is the period just after a death. Ancestor remembrance carries on for years or generations, often with a lighter and more affectionate tone.
Many families begin small: a photograph and a candle, a favourite dish cooked once a year, or a story told on a chosen day. A simple, regular habit usually lasts better than a grand one.
Written by the EveryParampara desk with AI assistance. Customs differ from place to place and family to family. If this is your tradition and we have it wrong, tell us.
The traditions written up so far, best known first.
🇩🇿 AlgeriaMawlid in Algeriaيوم المولد النبوي
The Prophet Muhammad's birthday celebration in Algeria with family feasts and prayersFestival · Feasts and festival meals
🇫🇮 FinlandChristmas in Finlandjoulu
A quiet midwinter festival of saunas, grave candles and table casseroles across FinlandSeasonal · Dinner
🇲🇬 MadagascarLamba
A rectangular cloth wrapped around the body, worn across Madagascar and at burialsDress
🇺🇸 United StatesMakahiki
A four-month Hawaiian new year season of peace, harvest gifts, feasts and gamesSeasonal · Feasts and festival meals
🇨🇮 Ivory Coast and 1 moreAbissa
A week-long New Year festival of the Nzema people in Ivory Coast and Ghana, marked by sacred drums, dance, and forgiveneFestival
🇦🇱 Albania and 1 moreKanunKanû
Albanian customary law kept by word of mouth, centred on honour and the given wordEtiquette
🇹🇭 Bangkok, ThailandThai funeral
Buddhist rites in Thailand featuring water blessings, temple chanting and cremation.Rite of passage · Breakfast
🇪🇬 Thebes, EgyptAncient Egyptian funerary practices
Rites for the dead in ancient Egypt: preserving the body, spells and grave goodsRite of passage
🇳🇬 Abuja, NigeriaNew Yam FestivalIri ji
A yearly harvest thanksgiving across Nigeria, when the first new yams may be eatenFestival · Feasts and festival meals
🇮🇪 Ireland and 1 moreSamhain
A Gaelic festival marking the start of winter with bonfires and ancestor feastsSeasonal · Feasts and festival meals
🇩🇰 Denmark and 3 moreNissenisse (Danish, Norwegian); tomte (Swedish); tonttu (Finnish)
A small farm spirit of Nordic folklore, given porridge at midwinterFolklore
🇻🇳 VietnamTếtTết Nguyên Đán
The Vietnamese festival of the lunar new year, welcoming spring with family gatheringsFestival · Feasts and festival meals
🇵🇰 Lahore, PakistanMela Chiraghanمیلہ چراغاں
A three-day Lahore festival honouring the sixteenth-century Sufi poet Shah Hussain.Spiritual
🇬🇭 GhanaAdae Festival
A sacred day of rest and ancestral rites observed across the Ashanti Region in GhanaSpiritual
🇰🇷 South Korea and 1 moreKorean New Year설날
A three-day Korean festival celebrating the lunisolar new year with family and feastsSeasonal
🇬🇭 GhanaPanafest
A biennial Ghanaian festival uniting Africans and the diaspora through arts and healingFestival
🇹🇭 Chiang Mai, Thailand and 1 moreYi Pengยี่เป็ง
A northern Thai Buddhist festival of sky lanterns, clay lamps and temple sermonsSpiritual
🇰🇷 South Korea and 1 moreChuseok추석
A Korean harvest festival of ancestral rites, seasonal rice cakes, and folk gamesFestival · Feasts and festival meals
🇸🇳 Touba, Senegal and 1 moreGrand Magal of Touba
An annual pilgrimage to the holy city of Touba in Senegal, kept by followers of the Mouride Sufi order.Spiritual
🇵🇸 Jericho, PalestineNabi Musaٱلنَّبِي مُوْسَى
An annual Palestinian Muslim pilgrimage and festival honoring the prophet MosesSpiritual · Feasts and festival meals
🇲🇽 Mexico City, MexicoOfrenda
A home altar of food, flowers and candles that welcomes the dead home at Día de MuertosSpiritual
🇯🇵 Tokushima, JapanAwa Dance Festival阿波踊り
A summer street dance festival held in Tokushima during the Buddhist season of ObonFestival
🇱🇦 Laos and 3 moreRocket Festivalບຸນບັ້ງໄຟ
A rainy-season festival of merit-making, music, parades and homemade rocketsFestival
🇺🇸 New Orleans, United StatesJazz funeral
A New Orleans funeral march led by brass music, moving from mourning to joyful danceRite of passage
🇷🇺 Moscow, Russia and 5 moreImmortal RegimentБессмертный полк (Bessmertnyy polk)
A civic procession where people carry portraits of relatives who served in the Second World War.Festival
🇮🇪 Ireland and 2 moreWren DayLá an Dreoilín
A Saint Stephen's Day custom where groups parade a stuffed wren on a decorated pole through their community.Festival
🇨🇳 Suzhou, China and 3 moreDongzhi冬至
A midwinter festival celebrating the return of light with family feasts and dumplingsSeasonal · Dinner
🇲🇽 Mexico and 1 moreCalaca
Skull and skeleton figures made for the Day of the Dead, joyful rather than sadCraft
🇯🇵 JapanHigan彼岸
A Japanese Buddhist week of reflection and ancestor remembrance at the equinoxesSpiritual
🇯🇵 Tokyo, JapanSanja Matsuri三社祭
A loud three-day Shinto festival in Tokyo honoring the founders of Sensō-ji temple.Festival
🇰🇷 South KoreaKorean tea ceremony다례 (茶禮)
Tea served in Korea as a rite of courtesy, now mostly grain and herbal brewsTable custom · Tea, coffee and drinking ceremonies
🇯🇵 Kyoto, JapanGozan no Okuribi五山送り火
Five giant bonfires lit across Kyoto's hills to bid farewell to ancestor spirits.Spiritual
🇯🇵 Tokyo, Japan and 3 moreObonお盆 (Obon)
A Japanese Buddhist festival honoring the spirits of ancestors through dance, light, and family reunion.Festival
🇮🇳 IndiaPushkaram
A river worship festival rotating across twelve sacred Indian rivers over twelve yearsSpiritual
🇮🇳 Puri, IndiaNabakalebaraନବ କଳେବର (Navakalevara)
A rare ritual in Puri where the wooden idols of four Hindu deities are replaced with new carvings every twelve to nineteSpiritual
🇮🇳 IndiaSarhul
A spring new year festival honoring nature and Sal blossoms across JharkhandSeasonal · Feasts and festival meals
🇮🇳 Amritsar, IndiaBandi Chhor Divasਬੰਦੀ ਛੋੜ ਦਿਵਸ
A Sikh festival of liberation marking the release of Guru Hargobind and fifty-two princes from Mughal imprisonment.Festival
🇮🇱 Israel and 2 moreSukkahסוכה
A temporary hut with a branch roof, lived in for the seven days of SukkotSpiritual
🇹🇷 Turkey and 5 moreNewrozنەورۆز
A Kurdish spring festival and new year celebration marked by bonfires, dance, and the lighting of fires.Festival
🇬🇧 United Kingdom and 5 moreLast Post
A bugle call sounded at military funerals and remembrance services across the Commonwealth to honour those who died in sPerformance
🇨🇳 Beijing, ChinaHanfu漢服
The dress of the Han Chinese, named for the Han dynasty and worn again todayDress
🇮🇹 Rome, Italy and 5 moreAll Souls' Day
A Christian observance on 2 November for prayer and remembrance of those who have died.Spiritual
🇬🇭 GhanaOutdooringkpojiemɔ (Ga), abadinto (Akan), vihehedego (Ewe)
A Ghanaian ceremony eight days after birth, when a baby is brought outdoors and namedRite of passage · Feasts and festival meals
🇳🇿 Waitangi, New ZealandPōwhiri
A formal Māori welcome onto a marae, with calls, speeches, song and the hongiEtiquette
🇻🇳 Huế, VietnamTraditional Vietnamese wedding
A Vietnamese wedding: two families joined through proposal, engagement and ceremonyRite of passage
🇵🇱 Poland and 5 moreZaduszkiZaduszki, Dzień Zaduszny
A Polish day of prayer for the dead on 2 November, kept with candles at the gravesSpiritual
🇲🇼 Malawi and 2 moreGule Wamkulu
A masked Chewa dance of the Nyau society, danced at funerals and chief installationsPerformance
🇨🇳 ChinaChinese paper cutting剪紙 / 剪纸 (jiǎnzhǐ)
Chinese cut paper pictures, pasted on windows and doors for luck at New YearCraft
The small pictures above come from Wikimedia Commons under free licences. Some are cropped to fit.
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